Archive | November, 2013

That’s Gold, Jerry! Gold!

15 Nov

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CC photo by pvera on Flickr

You know how everyone always says (said? Am I really getting that old?) that every situation in life can be compared to a Seinfeld episode? Well, gossip is no exception. The other day, Alec “thoughtless little pig” Baldwin lost his shit and called a photog a homophobic slur. Guess he needs some more relaxation tips from his yogi wife ’cause damn… he hype.

Well, thank goodness he’s basically a PR GENIUS because today he came up with a foolproof plan to get back in our good graces. You may be asking yourself, Alec, please enlighten me–what’s the best way to prove you’re not a bigot? Well, as both Alec and George Costanza know, all you have to do is trot out a member of the group you may have offended and pay they love and respect you so much they will not take no for an answer and must clear your good name. For Alec, it was his gay hairdresser. For George, Karl the exterminator.

Nice one, Alec. Next time try the Parent Trap route and try to convince us it was Billy.

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Thanks for Nothing, Dourtney

2 Nov

20131102-155626.jpgCourtneyStodden on Twitter

Guys. What’s the opposite of a Christmas miracle?! A HALLOWEEN TRAGEDY. Courtney Stodden and Doug Hutchison have split. For those of you who aren’t familiar with the greatest love story of our time, Courtney, a young ingenue who is as pure as the driven snow, married Doug, a worldly and suave lesbian, when she was 16 and he was 50, and swept us all away in their love affair.

I also watched every episode of their season of Couples Therapy with bated breath (ALSO remember when Alex McCord bit it storming away from the pool?). The guy from The Dirty and the girl from that British guy’s season of the Bachelor were so jealous of their love, but I think I can say the rest of us were inspired.

The most tragic part, however, is that I’ve been ruminating on a Courtney-Doug Halloween couples ‘stume for years and now I’ll never EVEN GET TO DO IT! I even had a plan to recreate her eggplant tinted boob balls.

I guess a fire that burns that hot must engulf itself eventually. Vigil at 9 tonight.

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